Just Call Me McGuilty

I know, I know. I'm guilty of it. We all are, really.

Guilty of saying ridiculous sayings and stupid phrases. That last sentence in itself was stupid. It just comes naturally, folks.

So, here is my list of stupid phrases and fads. Some I say everyday, some I choose to hate with a passion. Bear with me here.

1. "Awkward Turtle"- This phrase comes along with its own hand motion too. You take your left hand and place your right hand over it. Then, you rotate your thumbs (only!) and say the phrase in a nasaly tone. Gah, I shudder just thinking about it.
2. "Ah Snap!"- Now, this is one of my favorites. I say it atleast a million times a day. But, I don't always get the concept. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Is "snap" when you've just dissed someone?
3. "Whatev"- Now...I'm not going to say much on this word because I have a dear friend who was the pioneer of this word in my neck of the woods. It's catchy, I'll tell you that much. But, please...if you're going to say whatever, just finish the word...paraphasing does nothing for this word.
4. "Darn you all to Heck!"- Seriously, if you really want to "darn everyone to heck", you'd probably be mad enough to actually use the curse words. Just sayin'.
5. "...somethin' fierce."- This is one of those phrases that gets tagged on to anything that is a big deal, like: "That snow came down somethin' fierce." or "Missy's got a rash that's itchin' somethin' fierce." and my personal favorite, "I will beat you somethin' fierce...." Nuff said.
6. "Anywho"- Yet again, another one of my choice words. But, it doesn't make much sense. It's just a filler word. Much like, "Melp", "Aight", "Sup", "So", and "Ummm."
7. "Mc*Somethin'*"- Fill in any word you want. This little fad hails from Grey's Anatomy's "McDreamy" and "McSteamy". Just put your own word in there and you've got yourself a seat at the McCool Table with McLovin and his McNuggets.
8. "True Story"- I actually like this one. It's a phrase you say when you're in agreement with people after they've explained something. Like this: You're telling your friends g-ma what happened at the party last night. Friend: "So, then Jenny told Kyle that she was tired of him and dumped him right there, Grams!" and you nod and simply say "True story." Then, Granny gets the whole story...
9. "Sad Day"- This one is much like #8. But, with this one, you simply just agree that someone has had a "sad day." Like this: "So, then Jenny told Kyle that she was tired of him and dumped him right there, Grams!" and you nod and simply say "Sad day." Then, Granny gets the whole story...
10. "Tickled to Death"- Okay, I heard some lady say this and had an instant epiphery. Just think about this senario: A man in a trenchcoat drops a cigarette and snuffs it out with his shoe. Another man in a black trenchcoat comes out of the shadows. First man speaks "I found the body." The man in black is intrigued "What happened?" and then the first man replies with "Cause of death: tickled." I mean, come on! Has anyone in the history of the world ever died from being tickled? I think we've seen people crying, but never actually giving up the ghost because of it. It's the new Shaken Baby Syndrome or something. Pretty soon we'll have serial killers loose that kill by tickling, and they'll be lovingly named "The Tickle Monster". Think about it. Am I right?

So, there's my list of stupid things I've heard and some I've used. I leave you now with a new mission: What new crazy saying will come out next? My guess? I believe "that's boss" will make a comeback. Much like "groovey" and "oh behave."

Signing out,
Becky

Beginnings/My Grown Up Christmas Wish List.

Hey-o!

I've recently been in the blogging mood. And, I've been asked by a few friends and family to actually start a real blog. Just something to get some joy and humor out of. I blog on Myspace and Facebook but for some, it's not as accessible as this blog here at blogger.com. So, I will try my best to keep everyone entertained and informed on how my life is going. And, most of the time, it's got a humorous twist to it. So, here's to my commentaries on life, love, and living. Enjoy!

Here's a story from one of the days of the ice storm here in Oklahoma:

Me, my sister Melissa, and her husband CW were at Atwoods. We walked thru, looked at items, checked on batteries and flashlights and what not....and me and Melissa got a little tired of watching CW look at man-toys. So, we waited patiently for him to finish up. When he returned after looking, he so leisurely announced that he had found a generator. Here's how the conversation went down:

CW: (as he walks up to us) I thought I found a generator.
Melissa and Me: (silent but intrigued)
CW: (as he keeps walking passed us) But...it was a power washer.

So, not only did we think we had a generator to help with the power outage, it was one that had 1900 PSI. Man...that would have been one amazing generator. True story.

MY GROWN UP CHRISTMAS WISH LIST:

Okay, here's what's on everyone's minds. My Christmas list. I know, I know...you don't have to get me all of these things, just talk amoungst yourselves and divy it all up. It'll be better that way so I don't get repeats....that I'll have to take back.

• 1. Gobs of batteries and flashlights- Just in case of another ice/snow storm. I want to be prepared this time.
• 2. 6 Swans of Swimming- Hey, the song says it's a good gift...why not see what all the fuss is about? You may want to also provide a pool or pond of some sort. I'm not sure they'll all fit in my bathtub.
• 3. A New Car- Any type, really. Only new will do. Nothing used, folks.
• 4. A Core Blast Strike Streamian-I hear it's the most amazing core workout ever. It strengthens your entire core. Your back core, your arm core...and I hear the Marine Corp. uses them. Top of the line.
• 5. A really large dog kennel- No explaination here. Don't ask.
• 6. Mr. Right- Preferrably someone that isn't taken and/or gay. And please, refrain from sending mail order grooms. The last one just ran away when I got him out of the box. Plus, UPS charged way too much for shipping and they said the tracking number doesn't work on the item in the box, only the box itself. Now, I have an illegal alien groom running free without a way to track him. Oh, and I actually think he wasn't a groom by any means. She looked German.
• 7. A box blade knife with holster- Dude, those things are sick. Every cool person should own a box blade knife with a holster. It's all the rage in NYC I hear.
• 8. World Peace- A lot of beauty pageant contenders wish for this. I'm merely putting it down because it would be sinful not to. What?!
• 9. World Domination- Again I say, it would be sinful not to mention it.
• 10. Waterproof Phone- I'm not sure if these exist yet. But, if they do, they lie. Nothing is waterproof. Prove it if it is. That's all I'm gonna say...
• 11. Lasik Eye Surgery- Please do not bring me a pair of good eyes. I will voluntarily go to the doctor. All you have to do is supply the cash, the appointment, and my ride home.
• 12. Magic- If anyone knows how to get their hands on a ball of magic...or a plethora of magic...or whatever unit of measurement it comes in, please give it to me. Heck, don't even wrap it...wait, have the magic wrap itself. And no, I do not mean Magic Johnson the basketball player. Even though he may possibly have the cure for HIV (he paid the government for it), I do not think he is magical in any way.

So, there you have it. Please call or bring these gifts to me. Or, carrier pigeon works (not by UPS). I'm either here or at work. Or church. Or...nevermind.

Also, I will not be returning the favor. So, don't post your wish lists below. I don't have the will-power nor the funds to provide anyone with gifts. I just bought myself some new stuff...so, I'm broke. :)

Happy Holidays!