Wade in the Water!

Raise your hand if you ever had a story to tell and weren't sure how to go about telling it? Raise it again if you've ever been too embarrassed to tattle about something stupid you've done? First off, if you're raising your hand, you're stupid. Secondly, if you've ever driven into a large ditch full of water, that constitutes as clinical stupidity.

You're probably wondering what happened, right? To be honest, so am I. Here's what went down on one cold and very wet Wednesday night in April.

The rain came down, the creeks overfloweth.

That's how it all started. Massive thunderstorms swept through the neighborhood, causing every ditch and low-land to fill with standing (and sometimes moving) water. It was like any other normal day of torrential downpour. It sucked.

My housemate and I were just following the road like we normally do. We were abiding every traffic law out there. Then there was this piece of debris in the road, which we went around to avoid hitting. The petulant piece of wood was sitting in a few inches of water that was covering the dark road. After we passed it, we kept on our merry way until we ended up in a lake of a ditch.

How did that happen, you ask? I'll tell you, my friend. The water camouflaged itself into a dark shiny road. It was beautiful...until we drove into it and found out it wasn't a road at all. There we were, driving into a large puddle of water that looked like the shiny blacktop. As my housemate realized that she just drove her car into a ditch, we started to panic. We tried to drive out but we ultimately lodged ourselves in deeper. So, we called the people we knew we could count on to get us out: A lawn-care specialist, a youth pastor, and a Capitol One call representative; the modern day heroes of our time.

They bustled out of the dry home to help us. And, do you want to know the first thing they did when they saw us in the water-logged ditch? That's right, they laughed. They stood there, laughing....at us...while we sat in the car...as it sat in a puddle the size of a small pond. As they arrived and surveyed the damage, we started to notice that the floorboards were getting soggy. That's not what you want to see when you're stuck, folks. I repeat, you do not want to see the floor mat's rising as the water does.

After a few minutes of them pushing on the car...with us watching from inside the deathtrap...we decided to bail out. Libby goes through the window, I open my door and step into the frigid waters. Seriously, this is freezing, muddy, and cloudy water. I kept thinking, "What's living in these waters?" As soon as I made my way around the car, one song...and only one song...was going through my mind.

WADE IN THE WATER! WADE IN THE WATER CHILDREN....WADE IN THE WATER! GOD'S GONNA TROUBLE THE WATERS!

And, He sure did.

Finally, we pushed and pushed on the car enough to dislodge it from the swamp-like graveyard. As soon as it was on dry ground, the car drained all the water that had made it's way inside. Of course, there wasn't any way to drive it home under those conditions, so we piled into someones truck for the journey home, leaving Libby's poor car on the side of the road, wet and all alone.

What's the moral of this story? Honestly, I can't tell you or even make up a good one. All I know is that water is deceptive and scary. It purposely made it's self look like a road so we'd drive into it. That's my point to this whole blog. Water isn't your friend....especially if it's flowing over a road or standing in a ditch.

I just thought I'd let you all know....Beware of the water. It's out to get you.