Wade in the Water!

Raise your hand if you ever had a story to tell and weren't sure how to go about telling it? Raise it again if you've ever been too embarrassed to tattle about something stupid you've done? First off, if you're raising your hand, you're stupid. Secondly, if you've ever driven into a large ditch full of water, that constitutes as clinical stupidity.

You're probably wondering what happened, right? To be honest, so am I. Here's what went down on one cold and very wet Wednesday night in April.

The rain came down, the creeks overfloweth.

That's how it all started. Massive thunderstorms swept through the neighborhood, causing every ditch and low-land to fill with standing (and sometimes moving) water. It was like any other normal day of torrential downpour. It sucked.

My housemate and I were just following the road like we normally do. We were abiding every traffic law out there. Then there was this piece of debris in the road, which we went around to avoid hitting. The petulant piece of wood was sitting in a few inches of water that was covering the dark road. After we passed it, we kept on our merry way until we ended up in a lake of a ditch.

How did that happen, you ask? I'll tell you, my friend. The water camouflaged itself into a dark shiny road. It was beautiful...until we drove into it and found out it wasn't a road at all. There we were, driving into a large puddle of water that looked like the shiny blacktop. As my housemate realized that she just drove her car into a ditch, we started to panic. We tried to drive out but we ultimately lodged ourselves in deeper. So, we called the people we knew we could count on to get us out: A lawn-care specialist, a youth pastor, and a Capitol One call representative; the modern day heroes of our time.

They bustled out of the dry home to help us. And, do you want to know the first thing they did when they saw us in the water-logged ditch? That's right, they laughed. They stood there, laughing....at us...while we sat in the car...as it sat in a puddle the size of a small pond. As they arrived and surveyed the damage, we started to notice that the floorboards were getting soggy. That's not what you want to see when you're stuck, folks. I repeat, you do not want to see the floor mat's rising as the water does.

After a few minutes of them pushing on the car...with us watching from inside the deathtrap...we decided to bail out. Libby goes through the window, I open my door and step into the frigid waters. Seriously, this is freezing, muddy, and cloudy water. I kept thinking, "What's living in these waters?" As soon as I made my way around the car, one song...and only one song...was going through my mind.

WADE IN THE WATER! WADE IN THE WATER CHILDREN....WADE IN THE WATER! GOD'S GONNA TROUBLE THE WATERS!

And, He sure did.

Finally, we pushed and pushed on the car enough to dislodge it from the swamp-like graveyard. As soon as it was on dry ground, the car drained all the water that had made it's way inside. Of course, there wasn't any way to drive it home under those conditions, so we piled into someones truck for the journey home, leaving Libby's poor car on the side of the road, wet and all alone.

What's the moral of this story? Honestly, I can't tell you or even make up a good one. All I know is that water is deceptive and scary. It purposely made it's self look like a road so we'd drive into it. That's my point to this whole blog. Water isn't your friend....especially if it's flowing over a road or standing in a ditch.

I just thought I'd let you all know....Beware of the water. It's out to get you.

So many questions, so little time.

Do you know people who ask a lot of questions? I sure do. I have a friend that just plain wears me out because she asks so many questions. She's worse than the box that pops up and asks you if you want to save your work, and even worse than an interrogation officer trying to get the facts out of a criminal. Don't get me wrong, I love her...but, she asks way too many questions.

Questions like: Do you like the color pink? Do you like the singer Pink? Are you trying to lose weight? Do you get to wear jeans to work? Where are we at? Where are we going? Are you for real? Which purse looks like I'd carry it? What's that smell? Are the people that live in this town okay with that smell? Does this look cheap? Does this look expensive?

Even if she doesn't have a real question to ask, she turns a statement into a question with two little words: "you know." No joke, she can take a plain statement of fact or opinion and make it a question with those two words combined. An example:

I can't stand people who are rude to other people, you know?
Cue the nods of agreement to the poor soul conversing with her.

I need a large water, a large root beer, and a large Sprite, okay?
Silence.

I'm not rich but I like to buy things, you know?
Another nod and a muffled laugh. And finally,

Dear Lord, I love you, you know that?

People who constantly ask questions are either really curious or thrive on other people's opinions. I've learned this just be spending a weekend with my friend. Not only did I catch myself asking stupid and pointless questions after she left, but I was exhausted too. I've never had to answer that many questions in my life before.

So, what do I do about repeat offenders of over-questioning? First off, I stop asking so many questions myself. Secondly, I could stop answering. Or I could just answer her question with a question. Then, we'd never accomplish anything except asking redundant questions. Either way, we're using way to much energy and vocal ability talking to one another. I long for the days when we can just look at someone and speak without opening our mouths. Wait, I think that's called sign language. Shoot....

Well, that's all I've got for this post. I know it wasn't all that intriguing....but, what can you do, right? Ahh, crud! How many questions am I going to put in this one post? It's a downward spiral, I tell you. Once you're aware, you can't stop!

I'll leave you with the first BoredBot to ease your mind:

Click on image to enlarge.

Thanks for reading. Have a Happy Easter, you know?

The Happening(s)

No, this is not a blog about the new M. Night Shymaylan flick. I wish it was though....

This is a blog about my newest "happenings". So, listen up!

First off, I'm an adult now. Geeze, it's taken me long enough to get here. I moved out of my parent's house about 21 days after my 20th birthday. It wasn't emotional...it just happened fast. One night I was sleeping on my twin bed, the next night I was entertaining guests in my new living room and then resting my weary head on my oversized queen bed. It's insane. I'm loving it though.

One of the things that wasn't so fun on the day of the move was that my car got a boo-boo. Yes, the car that I haven't put a single dent or scratch on (except for when the garage door decided to close on it). My father was nagging me about putting air in my tires the night that I was moving junk from my old room to the new house. So, instead of going and doing it myself, I tried to con him into doing. Well, it worked and he took off out the door to go put some air in my tires. As I was sitting there eating I heard a loud BOOM from outside and I instantly knew what had happened. When I got up to the door I saw my car and my mother's car bumper to bumper. After he pulled the car back up and my mother went out there to survey the damage, I marched out of the house in a huff and drove my bruised and battered car to the gas station to get a better look at it. My bumper is made out of plastic so it was shattered and my tail light is cracked. Yup, my mom's bumper needs repairing as well. All thanks to my father........

Besides getting my car wrecked, the move went well. It's nice. It's so strange that my roommate and I get excited over the littlest things like: the linen closet, doing laundry, mopping the kitchen floor for the first time, buying Pledge, and grocery shopping. These are all the things that in about a month, we'll be groaning about doing. It's still exciting though.

Last night, as my roommate and I were coming home, we pulled into the driveway to find a opossum standing in our yard. We were intriqued and watched it until he or she took off. For some reason I sensed that it was going to find its way into the shed on the other side of our drive. Sure enough as soon as I said it, the opossum trotted right into a tiny crack in the door. There was a mutual squeal of terror between the both of us as we realized we had rodents living in our shed. Then, as I pushed on the gas to drive my car into the garage, there was another one of them, the same shape, size, and ickiness. The creature was scared and moving in all sorts of directions. We screamed. The poor thing hit the fence (where the dogs were barking). We screamed again. He or she turned to the open the garage. I hit the clicker and we both screamed a third time. The garage door came down and the little rodent ran right towards our car as we sat in the driveway. More screams from the both of us. Finally, it ran around the car, probably to the same place where the other one had found refuge. I quickly pulled the car into the garage and shut the door. So.....we have pets.

I have recieved a lot of comments about my previous post. I did mention a small time-killer that I partake in almost daily, BOREDBOTS. I have more awaiting approval and editing before I can post them.....but, I will post them. It may not be soon but it will happen one day. (That's just for you Greg.....)

OH! I recently read that the WGA heads are setting up meetings with the WGA members in LA and NYC for a final session before they make a deal with the studios. This is it folks, my free time may be slim in about three weeks.

And finally, I had to post a joke I heard from my friend Jeremy. I believe he said he made it up....so, here it is, for the public to enjoy as well:

A proctologist goes into the back after work one day. He has to sign a check so
he reaches into his back pocket for pen, but instead pulls out a rectal
thermometer. He sighs and then goes "Ah man! Some butt hole's got my pen!"

Welp, I know it's not an interesting update or that humorous, but it's all I could think of. So, there will be another post in a few more days. Hang in there folks.

Seesya.

BOREDOM!

Have you ever been bored at work? Ever been so bored that you made up game or came up with a new way of doing your tasks so it takes twice as long? Well, since I've had a pretty boring and lazy month at work, I've learned how to make a dull work environment fun.

Here are some ways to help you get through the day when it's moving slow and when you're just plain bored to death.

1. Stare at the computer- I do this several times within the day. It tricks my boss into thinking that I'm working on something that has stumped me. Even if he may ask what I'm having problems with, I've just killed a few more minutes before a long awaited break. Just make sure you have something work related on your desktop. FYI, YouTube is not a work related site.



2. Check your personal e-mail account- When the work e-mail is empty, checking your personal e-mail should be the next resort. Just make sure you do this as inconspicuously as possible. Getting caught is never fun.



3. Name inanimate objects- Yes, I've done this. If all else fails and you've tried to squelch your boredom with other things and it's just not working, name your pencil cup, your coworkers, or your keyboard. Wanna know my keyboards name? Reba. Reba McIntype.



4. Staple random papers together- It takes plenty of boring minutes of your day to search for papers, get the stapler, and staple the papers together. And, if you're lucky, you may get to put more staples in the stapler.



5. Shoot Hoops- Crumble up useless pieces of paper (the ones you stapled together to kill time) and try your hand at a game of hoops with your waste basket. Set a goal too, you have all day to beat it.



6. Paperclip Jewelry- It's fun to design, make, and even wear. Plus, it'll kill about 20 minutes if you take your time.



7. Sharpen Pencils- I don't use pencils at work, but for some reason they supply us with a cup of pencils and a sharpener. Hmm....Maybe they know how bored we get.....



8. White Out Art- I'm a master. I've perfected several techniques with my White Out. One day I made a great piece of art in the likeness of the Abominable Snowman.



9. Online Gaming/Instant Messages- MSN offers great Buddy Games you can play with your IM partner. UNO is my top pick. In my opinion, Wheel Of Fortune is a rip off. No matter what, the opponent always wins. Also, beware of network monitoring from your superiors.



10. 10. Doodles- I've become skilled in the art of doodling. So much so, I've ventured into the world of comics. On a boring day, I can create two-three small comics....all of which one of my coworkers enjoys to read. They are called BoredBots and it tells of the adventures of a few robots who are just trying to get along with the rest of their robot race. Here are a few samples (I took about four minutes of my eight hour day to scan these into the computer and e-mail them to my personal e-mail account):

After you've used up all these techniques to kill time, your last resort is probably sleep. Use these steps wisely and with caution. Doing them too many times in one day may cause your boss to get suspicious. Use sparingly.

SideNote: I, nor any of my coworkers have resorted to any of these tactics. We enjoy our work and always have a fun project to partake in. *cough cough*

The Great '08...or so we think.

2008 is going to be a year of change. I can feel it in my bones, people. Don't ask me how I know this, I just do.

First off, we've got an election coming up - the passing of the baton - so to speak. I already know that the race to the bloody end will be a battle of epic proportions and will be the latest news every night on CNN, CBS, NBC and FOX until then.

We also have an entertainment crisis on our hands here. The WGA still hasn't got their settlement and started working yet. My hopes for this year? That it gets resolved before February so we can get atleast a few good episodes before the television season ends.

On lighter and more uplifting entertainment news, new movies for the year 2008! I'm really excited to see what this year brings to the table. Last year, we had some good ones, some okay performances, and some major flops. I know I've seen one movie this year that will probably be the talk of the town for the rest of the year, Cloverfield. Penned by the great JJ Abrams, it's sure to be a hit. Another movie I'm ready to see is Leatherheads. It's directed, written, and even starring King George Clooney, with the talented John Krasinksi (The Office) taking a lead role as well. Other movies that might catch my eye: Step Up 2, Jumper, The Dark Knight, and Untraceable. We started 2008 out with a bang, let's hope the rest of the contenders are up to the challenge.

New changes for me in 2008? Yeah, I got some....just a few though. I turned the big 2-0 this year and started my first semester of college. And, as of February first, I'm moving and entering the real world, the adult world, the "live paycheck to paycheck" world. And, I'm pumped.

My family is growing this year too. In June, I'll be four times an aunt with a little neice or nephew. I'm excited. I just worry about the complex this innocent human will have when they realize what family they entered in to. Poor kid.

Other predictions for the year 2008-

Britney Spears will rapidly gain weight and become unrecognizable. She will be absent from the tabloids and from the court systems for a long period of time. She'll then act under her new persona and begin a relationship with K.Fed, who will know her as a lounge singer named Denise. Once she cons him into marrying her and getting custody over the children again, she'll join Jenny Craig, lose the pounds, and once her former self is revealed, snatch the kids away. Then, she'll flash something and go to prison. It's a viscous cycle.

G-Dub Bush will pack up his belongings "really slow" after his retirement as President (in the late 2008, early 2009 year). Reports of missing bars of soap and towels will cause a scandel in the later part of the year. On an unrelated note, he'll leave his banjo and aroma therapy candles in the Oval office because of "feng shui."

YouTube will rule the universe. People will start to write and direct their own shows, such as Manny the Manic Mortician-Starring Chris Crocker and the Numa Guy, and the ever intriquing, Melting Ice Cream in Reverse-The Sequel- this time with Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey! And, by late Decemeber, our every move will be documented for the entertainment of others. Wait, hasn't this already happened?

I'm completely joking about all of these predictions. But, if they happen to come to pass, then you'll know who credit is due to.

With all that said, I wish everyone a wonderful year. Be prepared though, just in case it isn't.

Just Call Me McGuilty

I know, I know. I'm guilty of it. We all are, really.

Guilty of saying ridiculous sayings and stupid phrases. That last sentence in itself was stupid. It just comes naturally, folks.

So, here is my list of stupid phrases and fads. Some I say everyday, some I choose to hate with a passion. Bear with me here.

1. "Awkward Turtle"- This phrase comes along with its own hand motion too. You take your left hand and place your right hand over it. Then, you rotate your thumbs (only!) and say the phrase in a nasaly tone. Gah, I shudder just thinking about it.
2. "Ah Snap!"- Now, this is one of my favorites. I say it atleast a million times a day. But, I don't always get the concept. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Is "snap" when you've just dissed someone?
3. "Whatev"- Now...I'm not going to say much on this word because I have a dear friend who was the pioneer of this word in my neck of the woods. It's catchy, I'll tell you that much. But, please...if you're going to say whatever, just finish the word...paraphasing does nothing for this word.
4. "Darn you all to Heck!"- Seriously, if you really want to "darn everyone to heck", you'd probably be mad enough to actually use the curse words. Just sayin'.
5. "...somethin' fierce."- This is one of those phrases that gets tagged on to anything that is a big deal, like: "That snow came down somethin' fierce." or "Missy's got a rash that's itchin' somethin' fierce." and my personal favorite, "I will beat you somethin' fierce...." Nuff said.
6. "Anywho"- Yet again, another one of my choice words. But, it doesn't make much sense. It's just a filler word. Much like, "Melp", "Aight", "Sup", "So", and "Ummm."
7. "Mc*Somethin'*"- Fill in any word you want. This little fad hails from Grey's Anatomy's "McDreamy" and "McSteamy". Just put your own word in there and you've got yourself a seat at the McCool Table with McLovin and his McNuggets.
8. "True Story"- I actually like this one. It's a phrase you say when you're in agreement with people after they've explained something. Like this: You're telling your friends g-ma what happened at the party last night. Friend: "So, then Jenny told Kyle that she was tired of him and dumped him right there, Grams!" and you nod and simply say "True story." Then, Granny gets the whole story...
9. "Sad Day"- This one is much like #8. But, with this one, you simply just agree that someone has had a "sad day." Like this: "So, then Jenny told Kyle that she was tired of him and dumped him right there, Grams!" and you nod and simply say "Sad day." Then, Granny gets the whole story...
10. "Tickled to Death"- Okay, I heard some lady say this and had an instant epiphery. Just think about this senario: A man in a trenchcoat drops a cigarette and snuffs it out with his shoe. Another man in a black trenchcoat comes out of the shadows. First man speaks "I found the body." The man in black is intrigued "What happened?" and then the first man replies with "Cause of death: tickled." I mean, come on! Has anyone in the history of the world ever died from being tickled? I think we've seen people crying, but never actually giving up the ghost because of it. It's the new Shaken Baby Syndrome or something. Pretty soon we'll have serial killers loose that kill by tickling, and they'll be lovingly named "The Tickle Monster". Think about it. Am I right?

So, there's my list of stupid things I've heard and some I've used. I leave you now with a new mission: What new crazy saying will come out next? My guess? I believe "that's boss" will make a comeback. Much like "groovey" and "oh behave."

Signing out,
Becky

Beginnings/My Grown Up Christmas Wish List.

Hey-o!

I've recently been in the blogging mood. And, I've been asked by a few friends and family to actually start a real blog. Just something to get some joy and humor out of. I blog on Myspace and Facebook but for some, it's not as accessible as this blog here at blogger.com. So, I will try my best to keep everyone entertained and informed on how my life is going. And, most of the time, it's got a humorous twist to it. So, here's to my commentaries on life, love, and living. Enjoy!

Here's a story from one of the days of the ice storm here in Oklahoma:

Me, my sister Melissa, and her husband CW were at Atwoods. We walked thru, looked at items, checked on batteries and flashlights and what not....and me and Melissa got a little tired of watching CW look at man-toys. So, we waited patiently for him to finish up. When he returned after looking, he so leisurely announced that he had found a generator. Here's how the conversation went down:

CW: (as he walks up to us) I thought I found a generator.
Melissa and Me: (silent but intrigued)
CW: (as he keeps walking passed us) But...it was a power washer.

So, not only did we think we had a generator to help with the power outage, it was one that had 1900 PSI. Man...that would have been one amazing generator. True story.

MY GROWN UP CHRISTMAS WISH LIST:

Okay, here's what's on everyone's minds. My Christmas list. I know, I know...you don't have to get me all of these things, just talk amoungst yourselves and divy it all up. It'll be better that way so I don't get repeats....that I'll have to take back.

• 1. Gobs of batteries and flashlights- Just in case of another ice/snow storm. I want to be prepared this time.
• 2. 6 Swans of Swimming- Hey, the song says it's a good gift...why not see what all the fuss is about? You may want to also provide a pool or pond of some sort. I'm not sure they'll all fit in my bathtub.
• 3. A New Car- Any type, really. Only new will do. Nothing used, folks.
• 4. A Core Blast Strike Streamian-I hear it's the most amazing core workout ever. It strengthens your entire core. Your back core, your arm core...and I hear the Marine Corp. uses them. Top of the line.
• 5. A really large dog kennel- No explaination here. Don't ask.
• 6. Mr. Right- Preferrably someone that isn't taken and/or gay. And please, refrain from sending mail order grooms. The last one just ran away when I got him out of the box. Plus, UPS charged way too much for shipping and they said the tracking number doesn't work on the item in the box, only the box itself. Now, I have an illegal alien groom running free without a way to track him. Oh, and I actually think he wasn't a groom by any means. She looked German.
• 7. A box blade knife with holster- Dude, those things are sick. Every cool person should own a box blade knife with a holster. It's all the rage in NYC I hear.
• 8. World Peace- A lot of beauty pageant contenders wish for this. I'm merely putting it down because it would be sinful not to. What?!
• 9. World Domination- Again I say, it would be sinful not to mention it.
• 10. Waterproof Phone- I'm not sure if these exist yet. But, if they do, they lie. Nothing is waterproof. Prove it if it is. That's all I'm gonna say...
• 11. Lasik Eye Surgery- Please do not bring me a pair of good eyes. I will voluntarily go to the doctor. All you have to do is supply the cash, the appointment, and my ride home.
• 12. Magic- If anyone knows how to get their hands on a ball of magic...or a plethora of magic...or whatever unit of measurement it comes in, please give it to me. Heck, don't even wrap it...wait, have the magic wrap itself. And no, I do not mean Magic Johnson the basketball player. Even though he may possibly have the cure for HIV (he paid the government for it), I do not think he is magical in any way.

So, there you have it. Please call or bring these gifts to me. Or, carrier pigeon works (not by UPS). I'm either here or at work. Or church. Or...nevermind.

Also, I will not be returning the favor. So, don't post your wish lists below. I don't have the will-power nor the funds to provide anyone with gifts. I just bought myself some new stuff...so, I'm broke. :)

Happy Holidays!