Jesus be the Center

It's been years since I've written on my blog but I have something on my heart and must share it! 

For the past week or so I've felt this urgency. Holy Spirit has been speaking to me through any means possible to get my attention. Everywhere I go, every message I hear, every song I listen to has bombarded me with the same words regarding my precious Savior. 

I recently went to hear Jentezen Franklin and John Bevere speak in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I enjoyed their messages and learned great teaching from them. While I sat and listened to them preach from the Word I was actually hearing another message from the Spirit. It was loud and clear to me what He was saying to me: Let Jesus take His throne. 

I tried to ignore it. I thought "Jesus IS on the throne," so why am I hearing this? I kept sensing it again and again. Every scripture I read and every song I heard kept reminding me of what the Spirit was saying: Let Jesus take His throne. After days of this being on my mind and heart I gave in and asked the Lord why I couldn't shake this. It was then I knew it wasn't just for me. It was for me, my husband, my church, my friends and their churches...maybe all of Oklahoma...maybe even the country too.

I felt that the Spirit was telling me that in my life I wasn't allowing Jesus to take is rightful place. Ouch.

He so desperately wants our selfish selves to allow Him to reign in our lives. How often do we look to our own abilities to handle our situations in work, school, and church without His help? All the time. He is often our last resort when we need help. I'm guilty of it, and I'm assuming you are too. He wants to remind us that He is in everything and is willing to help...if we allow Him to. John 16:24 reminds us of our need to ask our Heavenly Father for all our needs and desires: "Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full." Ask! He will have first place in your life if you ASK Him to be. If you allow Him to, He will! 

I believe this word is for the church too. Jesus should and always be the main event in church services. Thanks to the Holy Spirit, the essence of Christ on earth, our Lord and Savior is with us! Let's welcome Him to our Sunday morning services, our Wednesday night Bible studies, and small groups. Although the physical body of Christ cannot be present with us, His mighty Spirit can! Jesus was sent to reveal God and His grace to the world, and the Spirit was sent to reveal Jesus (John 16:12-15). If we welcome the Holy Spirit into our services and allow Him to reign, people can be set free! "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty." I encourage everyone to welcome the Spirit of truth into their life and their church. He is Christ with us! 

I had the opportunity to lead Israel Houghton's song Jesus at the Center on Sunday in church. The song is a perfect prayer for the body of Christ today. Before the song I was able read a scripture that summarizes what I've been feeling. Colossians 1:17-20 states "He is before all things and in Him all things hold together. He is also head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything. For it was the Father's good pleasure for all the fullness to dwell in Him and through Him to reconcile all things to Himself, having made peace through the blood of His cross..." After I read the scripture I invited Jesus to take his throne in the church and in our hearts. He did. The Spirit of God showed up. He is the first place in everything! Let's allow Him to do that! 

I learned that when we invite Jesus to reign, He honors our requests when we let him rule in power. We ask, we receive! He is so faithful. When we honor Him, He honors our petitions! Hallelujah! 

I know that letting Jesus take His throne in my life will be a daily request. I must invite Him into everything I do, big or small. I believe that if we invite Him to reign in our lives daily, our perspective will change, our situations will change, and our attitudes will change. I don't know about you, but I need all of those things to change! I will invite the Spirit of Christ to reign so that freedom is present!

Sing it with me: From my heart to the heavens, Jesus be the center! It's all about You, it's all about You!

Jesus, take Your throne! 

Words.....

So, it's been awhile, blogger friends. I truly apologize for my truancy. It's been an odd couple of months and it has kept me from doing what I love to do most: blog!

Since I've been struggling with how to sum up all my happenings into an intriguing little blog, I figured I'd just put random facts about what I've been up to. Ready for this? It's going to be great, I just know it. If it's not, I'll surely use that lovely little "bksp" button.

1. I was "laid off" of my job.
2. I saw 6 racoons run up a tree in front of my house.
3. I've swept my floors a total of three times since my last post.
4. My brake pads were changed on my car.
5. Project Runway is my new personal favorite reality show.
6. I was in my friend's outdoor wedding.....while it rained.
7. I firmly believe Bobby Flay is the anti-Christ. (Sorry, Obama....it was a toss up.)
8. I've consumed way too many Tostino's Party Pizzas.
9. My niece Kennedy turned 1!
10. I'm not single, nor am I engaged or married. So, make your own conclusions.
11. Unemployment Benefits rock!
12. I went in a casino for the first time a month ago. No, I didn't gamble....just sat amoungst the smoke and booze. Oh, and heard an amazing band called The Effects. (<---some cools dudes!)
13. Read the Twilight Series in a week. My opinion: Eh....
14. I sat through a 7 hour unemployment seminar. I learned nothing.
15. I used a George Foreman Grill: the lean mean, fat reducing, grilling machine!
16. Killed a plant I bought from Wal-Mart in a matter of 2 days.
17. Planted some seeds I bought from Target and they're sprouting. Suck on that, Wal-Mart!
18. I've been on 3 interviews that seemed hopeful.....
19. I'm jobless.
20. I should of used the "bksp" button. Right?!

My Journey to the Center of the UNIVERSE!

Yes, I have been to the Center of the Universe! It's right here....in Oklahoma! Can't believe it?! Well....I'm telling you, you should believe it!

I had heard a few years ago that there was this place in Downtown Tulsa where strange happenings occur. I was sceptical, of course, thinking that my friend who told me about the location was inebriated at the time they had visited. Still yet, it intrigued me.

This past weekend, I finally went out on a limb and ventured to find this "mystical" place. One evening after a sufficient dinner at the Spaghetti Warehouse (why is it a warehouse?!), my boyfriend and I drove a few blocks over and found the footbridge over the railroad tracks. As we approached the bridge, we could see a few people sitting around, playing guitars, singing, and another couple admiring a large art-deco statue on the other side of the "universe."

We came to the top of the bridge, and went right past the main focal point of this location to see what the large statue was. There was a man standing directly under the object banging on it. Immediately I thought "He's a pshyco. Get my boyfriend away from him. Let's run!" Of course, boys don't have the same thoughts that girls get in those situations so he started to talk to the creeper. Eventually, we find out that the stoned guy thinks there is a "god" or "spirit" inside the tall statue and that anyone can summon it or feel it by ringing the large "door knocker" type handle on the base of the piece. The man proceeds to bang on the metal statue and say things like "Did you feel that?" and "I already hit it once....with my head." No joke. You can't make this stuff up.

So, after pulling away from all the excitement at the statue, we finally took a chance and stood in the "Center of the Universe" to see if it was what everyone said it would be. I stood in the center (which is just a manhole cover, basically) first and was told to say something...and just wait. So, I started talking, but didn't hear anything out of the ordinary. Then, my boyfriend gave it a try and his face lit up. He said "Weird!" and I honestly thought he was pulling my leg because when I was standing in the supposed Center, I felt no different than outside the circle of bricks. He told me to try it again. So, I stood there, on a bridge in downtown Tulsa, on a manhole cover, talking to myself. Now who was the pshyco?

Then, I heard it....I heard what everyone was raving about....the echo of my own voice in my ears. What's so spectacular about this echo is that it's only audible to the person standing in this one spot on the bridge. And, no one outside the center can hear your echo. They can hear you talk, but cannot hear the supernatural echo. People say that the echo that is created is a mystery......no building is close enough to create the echo, and there isn't some dome to create it either. It's a mystery.....but, a very cool mystery.

After years of wondering about this unexplainable phenomena in Tulsa, I've finally discovered it. It's just odd enough to be interesting....and a fun date night adventure. It's free, open 24/7, and something you can't experience anywhere else.....well, unless you're the stoned man by the statue. I'm sure he experiences things like this all the time.

Father's Day Fuss

Father's Day. A day to honor the man who brought you into this world.....and, the same man that always said "I can take you out of this world too!" when you disobeyed. This year for Father's Day, I was the one that could have very well taken my father out of this world.

Yup, it's another wild story, so sit back, relax and read....

Father's Day rolled around and I never could quite find the right gift to give to my Dad. So, when we all started to gather, I felt terrible for coming empty-handed. Plus, that day was the day I had to say my goodbyes to my family before I left town for 7 weeks. Another double whammy, if you ask me.

I arrived to the party (mind you, it was just my father, my sister, her newborn, and me at this point) a little bit early. We were talking and sitting around enjoying the lazy Sunday afternoon (Don't you just love it when the evening service at church is cancelled for a holiday??! I sure do!). My father, laid down on the floor in the living room to stretch out and catch a cat nap before he had to grill the burgers. Aren't we great kids? We make our father cook the food on his own holiday! Wait, it gets better.....

So, as we're sitting there, I randomly pick up a ballpoint pen on the end table next to the recliner. I get this urge to just toss it at my Dad to wake him from his slumber. I didn't chunk the pen across the room, I just tossed it towards him. As he's facing away from me, I see the pen land in his general direction. All of a sudden, he jerks awake and says "I think I'm bleeding! What was that??!!!" From there, my heart sank. The next thing I know, he's holding his hand over his eye and running towards the bathroom. He shuts the door so me and my sister couldn't disturb him as he assessed the damage. My sister gave me the "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!!!!" stare and guilt trip for the next few seconds as we waited patiently.

When he returned to the kitchen, he was still holding his hand over his eye and making a weird moaning noise. He sounded like it was really painful, folks. My heart, of course, skipped a beat or two. He went over to the kitchen sink to grab a glass of water and then immediately wanted to sit on the kitchen floor next to an air conditioning vent. My sister and I looked on in wonderment what was wrong. We asked to see his eye and he refused, saying it was bleeding. From there, I apologized, he forgave and said to just let him sit for a little while. He removed his hand and there is was.....in ALL its glory....a blooding eye. There wasn't a single piece of white on his eye anymore. It was all RED! I gasped and wanted to cry. I had injured my father on FATHER'S DAY for Pete's Sake!!!! And, I didn't bring a gift!

After our reactions, I guess our reactions made my father worry. At one point he was talking and telling us it was okay, the next- he's passing out into my arms. My sister grabs the phone and calls our neighbor in hysterics. As she's crying and pleading with someone to come help, I'm praying and holding Dad off the floor. I keep talking to him, trying to muster some type of reaction from him. I position myself to where I can look him in the eyes and even though I don't want to see the damage to his left eye, I have to make sure he's okay. I keep shaking him and calling out, hoping to hear him speak. I remember putting my hand over his chest to feel his heart and to feel the air in his lungs....I almost lost it, thinking about if he would stop breathing or have a heart attack. It was scary. Melissa was still freaking out in the living room as I yell at Dad to wake up. She's a wimp, she wouldn't have been able to support an almost 200 lb. man who was dead weight. So, I did it....plus, it was my fault. (And, I didn't bring him a Father's Day gift.)

After a few minutes of pleading and praying, I hear him make a noise like he was going to vomit. As I'm leaning on him to keep him up, I reach for the trash can so he can use it if he needs it. Mind you, he's still not really conscious, so I'm not sure why I thought he could aim if he wanted to throw-up in the first place. I was in the moment, folks. I wasn't thinking straight! So, as I pull the trash can towards him, it spills, dumping coffee grounds all over the floor and him. Because of my predicament, I couldn't deal with the mess and just kept holding on to Dad.

After several LONG minutes, he came to, asking us what had happened. We told him what had happened and that we were taking him to the hospital immediately. He wanted a few minutes to collect himself and to figure out what had happened. He sat there, on the kitchen floor, just waiting until he felt better. Then, he looked down and then looked at me and goes "Where did the coffee grounds come from?" and I just busted up laughing. It was such a long story to tell.

Long story short, my father was okay. I tossed a pen at him, it got him right in the eye, and he blacked out from shock. The doctor's told him he would be fine after a specialist looked at the damage. After he emerged from the ER- with a pirate patch and all- he sat down next to me and goes "Are you okay?" and I just felt like crying. In all this, he was concerned about me the most.

It's funny how things like this bring people closer together. We have this special bond now....and it's sad that it took a pen to the eye to get it. For his birthday I bought a package of pens and wrote, "You better keep an eye out....I'm dangerous!" on the front. He thought it was the greatest gift he'd ever received.

So, the moral to this story? Ummm, hello??!!!! Don't spill coffee grounds on the unconscious.

When Cook-Outs Go Bad!

I had a cookout. It was planned to be a nice, lovely, relaxing, outdoor cookout on a beautiful Saturday evening. It started great....

The guests started to arrive as we finished prepping the burgers and sides. We conned our friend into grilling the hamburgers because we didn't want to risk burning or ruining them. So, once we stepped outside to light up the grill, we realized it was way to windy to grill on the deck. The boys decided it was best to move the grill to a less-windy location- by a large dumpster. Yum.

They decided to light up the grill and let it heat up a bit while they played a little game of catch with a football. Of course, us girls went inside while they played around like toddlers. When we decided to emerge from the house and join the boys outside, here is what we saw:

John darting to his truck and flinging the passenger door open and Lucas hobbling around the truck to get in the passenger's side. Then Josh comes around the corner with the football and a pair of white flip-flops in his hands. He proceeds to tell us "They're going to the hospital."

At that sentence, I look across the yard to see why Lucas is jumping around instead of walking normally....and there it was in all its glory, his left big toe hanging off of his foot!

My first reaction was to grab a towel and make sure he was okay. The boys' first reaction was to just jump in the truck and speed off. (If that doesn't prove that men and women are vastly different, I don't know what will.)

After they were down the highway, Josh decided to fill us in on what happened. He said that he was throwing a pass to John and Lucas and somehow, Lucas' toe got jammed or trapped under or near John's foot. Keep in mind that John is wearing tennis shoes and Lucas is wearing nothing since he kicked off his flip-flops. After the incident, Lucas calmly states "Johnny, I think I broke my toe." I'm a little sketchy on the details but I think it was played off like Lucas was joking and to prove to John and Josh that he was serious, he stuck his toe up in the air to show them what had happened. From there, they bolted to the truck to make a quick trip to the ER.

So, there we were, watching the tail lights of John's truck as 2 of our 5 guests left. I told Josh he could go home but he wanted to stay, saying "They'll be back....it won't take that long." I'm so glad he had that confidence in their return.

More of our guests began to arrive and as they did, we told them the gruesome details. Some were grossed out, others were aggravated that they missed out on all the action. And, for those suckers that didn't come to my cookout, I rubbed it in their faces that they missed a free dinner AND a show.

After a few hours of waiting, the news comes in that Lucas' toe wasn't broken, but it was just a compound dislocation. It was the sickest dislocation I've ever seen. The doctor's popped it all back into place and stitched it all up. From there, he hobbled on home.

Take a peek at the pictures if you dare! It's pretty wicked looking. Lucas' dad snapped these photos in the ER.

Like with every blog, I have to add a moral to this story- Don't play outdoors without shoes on. Next time I recommend steel-toed boots. (That means you, Lucas).

ROAD TRIP!!

No, this isn't about that Disney movie "College Road Trip". It's about something I did last weekend that I thought I’d never do. No, it wasn’t being abducted by aliens…I booked a room at a resort, picked up a very good friend of mine and drove into the sunset…..of Branson, Missouri.

I love road trips. I love the feeling of having the entire road in front of me and to have all the options to choose from. There is some feeling of accomplishment I get when I take a trip to a place I’ve never ventured into without parental control. So, last weekend in Branson liberated me into the world of adult living.

What did we do in Branson, you ask? Here’s what we did:

First off, we explored our lovely room at the Falls Village Resort. The accommodations were great and the staff extremely friendly. We arrived at the resort a little after midnight and when we walked in, the desk clerk sarcastically asked us if we were out having cocktails. We laughed, knowing that the Coke Icee’s we got from The BK Lounge (That’s Burger King for all of you that haven’t been awakened by Dane Cook) was the closest thing to a cocktail we’d had all night.

We visited the Branson Landing and shopped our hearts out. We also discovered that the lamp posts at the Landing are magical. They not only supply brilliant light in the extreme darkness, but they play music. As we were walking past a lamp post, I heard a familiar tune (The Fray’s “How To Save A Life”) and stopped to find where the melodies were coming from. We found it all right….coming out of a speaker at the bottom of the street lamps. From that point on, we declared that Branson is a town of magic….magic lamp posts, that is.

We went to see “Made of Honor” at the IMAX theater. There were very few other patrons watching the film considering the newness of the flick. We enjoyed the “matinee” discount since we went to see it at 4:30 in the afternoon….on a Sunday. We even ate at a 50’s diner. We channeled our senior citizen side for those adventures.

We also had a blast finding our inner child. The resort had an array of activities for us to take part in. Our first stop was to the swing set. We were easily amused and had a fun time swinging. When I decided to jump out of the swing into the sand, I realized that I wasn’t as young as I used to be. I landed on my foot weird and the next day when I got home, my shin was hurting and my ankle swollen. 15 years ago I would have been able to walk away from that uninjured…..and, I would have been five 15 years ago too.

We enjoyed a game of putt-putt golf. By the 6th hole we were already bored and decided to make it a race. So, we ran thru the rest of the course, bumping into one another, kicking the opponent’s golf ball out of the way and cheating our way to the next hole. It was fun and was the fastest game of putt-putt I’ve ever been involved in. Then we found the basketball court and tried to shoot some hoops. I think we managed a few baskets then tired of the losing streak and gave up.

The next stop was to the Jacuzzi tub. That was fun. We poured in the body wash and the bubbles came in abundance. After being up to our eyes in bubbles (no lie) we decided to get out before we literally became prunes. From then on, we watched a lot of HGTV and Food Network. Ace of Cakes in an amazing show, by the way. All I have to say about the Food Network is that there is some kind of conspiracy going on. Bobby Flay is everywhere these days! On every show and every commercial there is a random image of Bobby Flay….he’s everywhere! We realized that this past weekend in Branson.

All in all, my get-away was wonderful. There were a few minor issues such as the hot water running out after the Jacuzzi tub was filled and our pesky neighbors above us….(I’m not going to elaborate…I’m sure you can guess what I’m talking about.)

Moral to the story- there’s not one. Wait, I got one: Bobby Flay is the devil and is on the Food Network to gain control of every show on earth. Just you wait and see…

Wade in the Water!

Raise your hand if you ever had a story to tell and weren't sure how to go about telling it? Raise it again if you've ever been too embarrassed to tattle about something stupid you've done? First off, if you're raising your hand, you're stupid. Secondly, if you've ever driven into a large ditch full of water, that constitutes as clinical stupidity.

You're probably wondering what happened, right? To be honest, so am I. Here's what went down on one cold and very wet Wednesday night in April.

The rain came down, the creeks overfloweth.

That's how it all started. Massive thunderstorms swept through the neighborhood, causing every ditch and low-land to fill with standing (and sometimes moving) water. It was like any other normal day of torrential downpour. It sucked.

My housemate and I were just following the road like we normally do. We were abiding every traffic law out there. Then there was this piece of debris in the road, which we went around to avoid hitting. The petulant piece of wood was sitting in a few inches of water that was covering the dark road. After we passed it, we kept on our merry way until we ended up in a lake of a ditch.

How did that happen, you ask? I'll tell you, my friend. The water camouflaged itself into a dark shiny road. It was beautiful...until we drove into it and found out it wasn't a road at all. There we were, driving into a large puddle of water that looked like the shiny blacktop. As my housemate realized that she just drove her car into a ditch, we started to panic. We tried to drive out but we ultimately lodged ourselves in deeper. So, we called the people we knew we could count on to get us out: A lawn-care specialist, a youth pastor, and a Capitol One call representative; the modern day heroes of our time.

They bustled out of the dry home to help us. And, do you want to know the first thing they did when they saw us in the water-logged ditch? That's right, they laughed. They stood there, laughing....at us...while we sat in the car...as it sat in a puddle the size of a small pond. As they arrived and surveyed the damage, we started to notice that the floorboards were getting soggy. That's not what you want to see when you're stuck, folks. I repeat, you do not want to see the floor mat's rising as the water does.

After a few minutes of them pushing on the car...with us watching from inside the deathtrap...we decided to bail out. Libby goes through the window, I open my door and step into the frigid waters. Seriously, this is freezing, muddy, and cloudy water. I kept thinking, "What's living in these waters?" As soon as I made my way around the car, one song...and only one song...was going through my mind.

WADE IN THE WATER! WADE IN THE WATER CHILDREN....WADE IN THE WATER! GOD'S GONNA TROUBLE THE WATERS!

And, He sure did.

Finally, we pushed and pushed on the car enough to dislodge it from the swamp-like graveyard. As soon as it was on dry ground, the car drained all the water that had made it's way inside. Of course, there wasn't any way to drive it home under those conditions, so we piled into someones truck for the journey home, leaving Libby's poor car on the side of the road, wet and all alone.

What's the moral of this story? Honestly, I can't tell you or even make up a good one. All I know is that water is deceptive and scary. It purposely made it's self look like a road so we'd drive into it. That's my point to this whole blog. Water isn't your friend....especially if it's flowing over a road or standing in a ditch.

I just thought I'd let you all know....Beware of the water. It's out to get you.

So many questions, so little time.

Do you know people who ask a lot of questions? I sure do. I have a friend that just plain wears me out because she asks so many questions. She's worse than the box that pops up and asks you if you want to save your work, and even worse than an interrogation officer trying to get the facts out of a criminal. Don't get me wrong, I love her...but, she asks way too many questions.

Questions like: Do you like the color pink? Do you like the singer Pink? Are you trying to lose weight? Do you get to wear jeans to work? Where are we at? Where are we going? Are you for real? Which purse looks like I'd carry it? What's that smell? Are the people that live in this town okay with that smell? Does this look cheap? Does this look expensive?

Even if she doesn't have a real question to ask, she turns a statement into a question with two little words: "you know." No joke, she can take a plain statement of fact or opinion and make it a question with those two words combined. An example:

I can't stand people who are rude to other people, you know?
Cue the nods of agreement to the poor soul conversing with her.

I need a large water, a large root beer, and a large Sprite, okay?
Silence.

I'm not rich but I like to buy things, you know?
Another nod and a muffled laugh. And finally,

Dear Lord, I love you, you know that?

People who constantly ask questions are either really curious or thrive on other people's opinions. I've learned this just be spending a weekend with my friend. Not only did I catch myself asking stupid and pointless questions after she left, but I was exhausted too. I've never had to answer that many questions in my life before.

So, what do I do about repeat offenders of over-questioning? First off, I stop asking so many questions myself. Secondly, I could stop answering. Or I could just answer her question with a question. Then, we'd never accomplish anything except asking redundant questions. Either way, we're using way to much energy and vocal ability talking to one another. I long for the days when we can just look at someone and speak without opening our mouths. Wait, I think that's called sign language. Shoot....

Well, that's all I've got for this post. I know it wasn't all that intriguing....but, what can you do, right? Ahh, crud! How many questions am I going to put in this one post? It's a downward spiral, I tell you. Once you're aware, you can't stop!

I'll leave you with the first BoredBot to ease your mind:

Click on image to enlarge.

Thanks for reading. Have a Happy Easter, you know?

The Happening(s)

No, this is not a blog about the new M. Night Shymaylan flick. I wish it was though....

This is a blog about my newest "happenings". So, listen up!

First off, I'm an adult now. Geeze, it's taken me long enough to get here. I moved out of my parent's house about 21 days after my 20th birthday. It wasn't emotional...it just happened fast. One night I was sleeping on my twin bed, the next night I was entertaining guests in my new living room and then resting my weary head on my oversized queen bed. It's insane. I'm loving it though.

One of the things that wasn't so fun on the day of the move was that my car got a boo-boo. Yes, the car that I haven't put a single dent or scratch on (except for when the garage door decided to close on it). My father was nagging me about putting air in my tires the night that I was moving junk from my old room to the new house. So, instead of going and doing it myself, I tried to con him into doing. Well, it worked and he took off out the door to go put some air in my tires. As I was sitting there eating I heard a loud BOOM from outside and I instantly knew what had happened. When I got up to the door I saw my car and my mother's car bumper to bumper. After he pulled the car back up and my mother went out there to survey the damage, I marched out of the house in a huff and drove my bruised and battered car to the gas station to get a better look at it. My bumper is made out of plastic so it was shattered and my tail light is cracked. Yup, my mom's bumper needs repairing as well. All thanks to my father........

Besides getting my car wrecked, the move went well. It's nice. It's so strange that my roommate and I get excited over the littlest things like: the linen closet, doing laundry, mopping the kitchen floor for the first time, buying Pledge, and grocery shopping. These are all the things that in about a month, we'll be groaning about doing. It's still exciting though.

Last night, as my roommate and I were coming home, we pulled into the driveway to find a opossum standing in our yard. We were intriqued and watched it until he or she took off. For some reason I sensed that it was going to find its way into the shed on the other side of our drive. Sure enough as soon as I said it, the opossum trotted right into a tiny crack in the door. There was a mutual squeal of terror between the both of us as we realized we had rodents living in our shed. Then, as I pushed on the gas to drive my car into the garage, there was another one of them, the same shape, size, and ickiness. The creature was scared and moving in all sorts of directions. We screamed. The poor thing hit the fence (where the dogs were barking). We screamed again. He or she turned to the open the garage. I hit the clicker and we both screamed a third time. The garage door came down and the little rodent ran right towards our car as we sat in the driveway. More screams from the both of us. Finally, it ran around the car, probably to the same place where the other one had found refuge. I quickly pulled the car into the garage and shut the door. So.....we have pets.

I have recieved a lot of comments about my previous post. I did mention a small time-killer that I partake in almost daily, BOREDBOTS. I have more awaiting approval and editing before I can post them.....but, I will post them. It may not be soon but it will happen one day. (That's just for you Greg.....)

OH! I recently read that the WGA heads are setting up meetings with the WGA members in LA and NYC for a final session before they make a deal with the studios. This is it folks, my free time may be slim in about three weeks.

And finally, I had to post a joke I heard from my friend Jeremy. I believe he said he made it up....so, here it is, for the public to enjoy as well:

A proctologist goes into the back after work one day. He has to sign a check so
he reaches into his back pocket for pen, but instead pulls out a rectal
thermometer. He sighs and then goes "Ah man! Some butt hole's got my pen!"

Welp, I know it's not an interesting update or that humorous, but it's all I could think of. So, there will be another post in a few more days. Hang in there folks.

Seesya.

BOREDOM!

Have you ever been bored at work? Ever been so bored that you made up game or came up with a new way of doing your tasks so it takes twice as long? Well, since I've had a pretty boring and lazy month at work, I've learned how to make a dull work environment fun.

Here are some ways to help you get through the day when it's moving slow and when you're just plain bored to death.

1. Stare at the computer- I do this several times within the day. It tricks my boss into thinking that I'm working on something that has stumped me. Even if he may ask what I'm having problems with, I've just killed a few more minutes before a long awaited break. Just make sure you have something work related on your desktop. FYI, YouTube is not a work related site.



2. Check your personal e-mail account- When the work e-mail is empty, checking your personal e-mail should be the next resort. Just make sure you do this as inconspicuously as possible. Getting caught is never fun.



3. Name inanimate objects- Yes, I've done this. If all else fails and you've tried to squelch your boredom with other things and it's just not working, name your pencil cup, your coworkers, or your keyboard. Wanna know my keyboards name? Reba. Reba McIntype.



4. Staple random papers together- It takes plenty of boring minutes of your day to search for papers, get the stapler, and staple the papers together. And, if you're lucky, you may get to put more staples in the stapler.



5. Shoot Hoops- Crumble up useless pieces of paper (the ones you stapled together to kill time) and try your hand at a game of hoops with your waste basket. Set a goal too, you have all day to beat it.



6. Paperclip Jewelry- It's fun to design, make, and even wear. Plus, it'll kill about 20 minutes if you take your time.



7. Sharpen Pencils- I don't use pencils at work, but for some reason they supply us with a cup of pencils and a sharpener. Hmm....Maybe they know how bored we get.....



8. White Out Art- I'm a master. I've perfected several techniques with my White Out. One day I made a great piece of art in the likeness of the Abominable Snowman.



9. Online Gaming/Instant Messages- MSN offers great Buddy Games you can play with your IM partner. UNO is my top pick. In my opinion, Wheel Of Fortune is a rip off. No matter what, the opponent always wins. Also, beware of network monitoring from your superiors.



10. 10. Doodles- I've become skilled in the art of doodling. So much so, I've ventured into the world of comics. On a boring day, I can create two-three small comics....all of which one of my coworkers enjoys to read. They are called BoredBots and it tells of the adventures of a few robots who are just trying to get along with the rest of their robot race. Here are a few samples (I took about four minutes of my eight hour day to scan these into the computer and e-mail them to my personal e-mail account):

After you've used up all these techniques to kill time, your last resort is probably sleep. Use these steps wisely and with caution. Doing them too many times in one day may cause your boss to get suspicious. Use sparingly.

SideNote: I, nor any of my coworkers have resorted to any of these tactics. We enjoy our work and always have a fun project to partake in. *cough cough*

The Great '08...or so we think.

2008 is going to be a year of change. I can feel it in my bones, people. Don't ask me how I know this, I just do.

First off, we've got an election coming up - the passing of the baton - so to speak. I already know that the race to the bloody end will be a battle of epic proportions and will be the latest news every night on CNN, CBS, NBC and FOX until then.

We also have an entertainment crisis on our hands here. The WGA still hasn't got their settlement and started working yet. My hopes for this year? That it gets resolved before February so we can get atleast a few good episodes before the television season ends.

On lighter and more uplifting entertainment news, new movies for the year 2008! I'm really excited to see what this year brings to the table. Last year, we had some good ones, some okay performances, and some major flops. I know I've seen one movie this year that will probably be the talk of the town for the rest of the year, Cloverfield. Penned by the great JJ Abrams, it's sure to be a hit. Another movie I'm ready to see is Leatherheads. It's directed, written, and even starring King George Clooney, with the talented John Krasinksi (The Office) taking a lead role as well. Other movies that might catch my eye: Step Up 2, Jumper, The Dark Knight, and Untraceable. We started 2008 out with a bang, let's hope the rest of the contenders are up to the challenge.

New changes for me in 2008? Yeah, I got some....just a few though. I turned the big 2-0 this year and started my first semester of college. And, as of February first, I'm moving and entering the real world, the adult world, the "live paycheck to paycheck" world. And, I'm pumped.

My family is growing this year too. In June, I'll be four times an aunt with a little neice or nephew. I'm excited. I just worry about the complex this innocent human will have when they realize what family they entered in to. Poor kid.

Other predictions for the year 2008-

Britney Spears will rapidly gain weight and become unrecognizable. She will be absent from the tabloids and from the court systems for a long period of time. She'll then act under her new persona and begin a relationship with K.Fed, who will know her as a lounge singer named Denise. Once she cons him into marrying her and getting custody over the children again, she'll join Jenny Craig, lose the pounds, and once her former self is revealed, snatch the kids away. Then, she'll flash something and go to prison. It's a viscous cycle.

G-Dub Bush will pack up his belongings "really slow" after his retirement as President (in the late 2008, early 2009 year). Reports of missing bars of soap and towels will cause a scandel in the later part of the year. On an unrelated note, he'll leave his banjo and aroma therapy candles in the Oval office because of "feng shui."

YouTube will rule the universe. People will start to write and direct their own shows, such as Manny the Manic Mortician-Starring Chris Crocker and the Numa Guy, and the ever intriquing, Melting Ice Cream in Reverse-The Sequel- this time with Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey! And, by late Decemeber, our every move will be documented for the entertainment of others. Wait, hasn't this already happened?

I'm completely joking about all of these predictions. But, if they happen to come to pass, then you'll know who credit is due to.

With all that said, I wish everyone a wonderful year. Be prepared though, just in case it isn't.

Just Call Me McGuilty

I know, I know. I'm guilty of it. We all are, really.

Guilty of saying ridiculous sayings and stupid phrases. That last sentence in itself was stupid. It just comes naturally, folks.

So, here is my list of stupid phrases and fads. Some I say everyday, some I choose to hate with a passion. Bear with me here.

1. "Awkward Turtle"- This phrase comes along with its own hand motion too. You take your left hand and place your right hand over it. Then, you rotate your thumbs (only!) and say the phrase in a nasaly tone. Gah, I shudder just thinking about it.
2. "Ah Snap!"- Now, this is one of my favorites. I say it atleast a million times a day. But, I don't always get the concept. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? Is "snap" when you've just dissed someone?
3. "Whatev"- Now...I'm not going to say much on this word because I have a dear friend who was the pioneer of this word in my neck of the woods. It's catchy, I'll tell you that much. But, please...if you're going to say whatever, just finish the word...paraphasing does nothing for this word.
4. "Darn you all to Heck!"- Seriously, if you really want to "darn everyone to heck", you'd probably be mad enough to actually use the curse words. Just sayin'.
5. "...somethin' fierce."- This is one of those phrases that gets tagged on to anything that is a big deal, like: "That snow came down somethin' fierce." or "Missy's got a rash that's itchin' somethin' fierce." and my personal favorite, "I will beat you somethin' fierce...." Nuff said.
6. "Anywho"- Yet again, another one of my choice words. But, it doesn't make much sense. It's just a filler word. Much like, "Melp", "Aight", "Sup", "So", and "Ummm."
7. "Mc*Somethin'*"- Fill in any word you want. This little fad hails from Grey's Anatomy's "McDreamy" and "McSteamy". Just put your own word in there and you've got yourself a seat at the McCool Table with McLovin and his McNuggets.
8. "True Story"- I actually like this one. It's a phrase you say when you're in agreement with people after they've explained something. Like this: You're telling your friends g-ma what happened at the party last night. Friend: "So, then Jenny told Kyle that she was tired of him and dumped him right there, Grams!" and you nod and simply say "True story." Then, Granny gets the whole story...
9. "Sad Day"- This one is much like #8. But, with this one, you simply just agree that someone has had a "sad day." Like this: "So, then Jenny told Kyle that she was tired of him and dumped him right there, Grams!" and you nod and simply say "Sad day." Then, Granny gets the whole story...
10. "Tickled to Death"- Okay, I heard some lady say this and had an instant epiphery. Just think about this senario: A man in a trenchcoat drops a cigarette and snuffs it out with his shoe. Another man in a black trenchcoat comes out of the shadows. First man speaks "I found the body." The man in black is intrigued "What happened?" and then the first man replies with "Cause of death: tickled." I mean, come on! Has anyone in the history of the world ever died from being tickled? I think we've seen people crying, but never actually giving up the ghost because of it. It's the new Shaken Baby Syndrome or something. Pretty soon we'll have serial killers loose that kill by tickling, and they'll be lovingly named "The Tickle Monster". Think about it. Am I right?

So, there's my list of stupid things I've heard and some I've used. I leave you now with a new mission: What new crazy saying will come out next? My guess? I believe "that's boss" will make a comeback. Much like "groovey" and "oh behave."

Signing out,
Becky

Beginnings/My Grown Up Christmas Wish List.

Hey-o!

I've recently been in the blogging mood. And, I've been asked by a few friends and family to actually start a real blog. Just something to get some joy and humor out of. I blog on Myspace and Facebook but for some, it's not as accessible as this blog here at blogger.com. So, I will try my best to keep everyone entertained and informed on how my life is going. And, most of the time, it's got a humorous twist to it. So, here's to my commentaries on life, love, and living. Enjoy!

Here's a story from one of the days of the ice storm here in Oklahoma:

Me, my sister Melissa, and her husband CW were at Atwoods. We walked thru, looked at items, checked on batteries and flashlights and what not....and me and Melissa got a little tired of watching CW look at man-toys. So, we waited patiently for him to finish up. When he returned after looking, he so leisurely announced that he had found a generator. Here's how the conversation went down:

CW: (as he walks up to us) I thought I found a generator.
Melissa and Me: (silent but intrigued)
CW: (as he keeps walking passed us) But...it was a power washer.

So, not only did we think we had a generator to help with the power outage, it was one that had 1900 PSI. Man...that would have been one amazing generator. True story.

MY GROWN UP CHRISTMAS WISH LIST:

Okay, here's what's on everyone's minds. My Christmas list. I know, I know...you don't have to get me all of these things, just talk amoungst yourselves and divy it all up. It'll be better that way so I don't get repeats....that I'll have to take back.

• 1. Gobs of batteries and flashlights- Just in case of another ice/snow storm. I want to be prepared this time.
• 2. 6 Swans of Swimming- Hey, the song says it's a good gift...why not see what all the fuss is about? You may want to also provide a pool or pond of some sort. I'm not sure they'll all fit in my bathtub.
• 3. A New Car- Any type, really. Only new will do. Nothing used, folks.
• 4. A Core Blast Strike Streamian-I hear it's the most amazing core workout ever. It strengthens your entire core. Your back core, your arm core...and I hear the Marine Corp. uses them. Top of the line.
• 5. A really large dog kennel- No explaination here. Don't ask.
• 6. Mr. Right- Preferrably someone that isn't taken and/or gay. And please, refrain from sending mail order grooms. The last one just ran away when I got him out of the box. Plus, UPS charged way too much for shipping and they said the tracking number doesn't work on the item in the box, only the box itself. Now, I have an illegal alien groom running free without a way to track him. Oh, and I actually think he wasn't a groom by any means. She looked German.
• 7. A box blade knife with holster- Dude, those things are sick. Every cool person should own a box blade knife with a holster. It's all the rage in NYC I hear.
• 8. World Peace- A lot of beauty pageant contenders wish for this. I'm merely putting it down because it would be sinful not to. What?!
• 9. World Domination- Again I say, it would be sinful not to mention it.
• 10. Waterproof Phone- I'm not sure if these exist yet. But, if they do, they lie. Nothing is waterproof. Prove it if it is. That's all I'm gonna say...
• 11. Lasik Eye Surgery- Please do not bring me a pair of good eyes. I will voluntarily go to the doctor. All you have to do is supply the cash, the appointment, and my ride home.
• 12. Magic- If anyone knows how to get their hands on a ball of magic...or a plethora of magic...or whatever unit of measurement it comes in, please give it to me. Heck, don't even wrap it...wait, have the magic wrap itself. And no, I do not mean Magic Johnson the basketball player. Even though he may possibly have the cure for HIV (he paid the government for it), I do not think he is magical in any way.

So, there you have it. Please call or bring these gifts to me. Or, carrier pigeon works (not by UPS). I'm either here or at work. Or church. Or...nevermind.

Also, I will not be returning the favor. So, don't post your wish lists below. I don't have the will-power nor the funds to provide anyone with gifts. I just bought myself some new stuff...so, I'm broke. :)

Happy Holidays!